Today I learned my lesson....I started to muse about what life would have been like x, y, z way who how and when but then as I was crossing the threshold of my kitchen floor(I had forgotten there was water spilled on the marble floor) I slipped and fell. I said aloud in the name of Allaah(bismillaah), which gave me strength not to feel the pain from the fall. As I got up however, I realized my musing of a different now based on a different past was a mirage, fleeting image and so I prayed to Allaah SWT and I am sharing this with you my non existing viewers: Oh Allaah reward me with patience for what I did not achieve in this world and to give me better than what I wanted in Jannah. Please forgive me my sins and rectify my behavior and be thankful for what I have and not look for or yearn for what I do not possess.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Sorry for the long hiatus
Hi...
sorry for the long hiatus...much has happened since I wrote my February post on tribute to journalism...since my blog is called a traveler, I am literally traveling. I had gone in march to attend a wedding and then returned two weeks later but came down with a stomach flu and all manners of difficulty which I can mention in the blog but would be giving too much away.... be that as it may.
I have taken up courses at the Islamic Online University in aqeedah, fiqh, tajweed, and Arabic. As far as personal development goes, I still have a ways to go and I know I was suppose to be blogging about that...well I am still at square one didn't budge forward for that matter
There was a time period since I got back where I was terrified due to some circumstances and had curbed my drama watching behavior but that was indeed fleeting.
The problem with my soul or character is that I am like a pingpong going from one extreme to another so to speak. If I have done a sin, I'll try to do a good deed, hoping that it will cancel out the sin and lets say mathematically you do:
-1+1=0 you are back to square zero..where I kinda remain...
so I don't really aspire to improve..
ever since I was a child I lacked in akhlaaq surprisingly even though I am my mother's biological child and my younger brother was an epitome of akhlaaq or personality(I don't want to say character here because I did have that alhamdulillaah, telling the truth, integrity, accepting of flaws, not cursing). So I started making duaa day in and day out for Allaah SWT to give me better akhlaaq. Smiling was easy for me as I lived a sheltered life and was always cheerful, optimistic, happy. However, the thing that got me messed up was my tongue and lack of patience....so now I am praying for control of my tongue and getting some patience....
because literally I don't know how to be patient...
do you?
if anyone reads this blog at all please don't be shy, send me a comment good or bad, critique or smile..just wanna know if I am sharing anything with anyone :)
sorry for the long hiatus...much has happened since I wrote my February post on tribute to journalism...since my blog is called a traveler, I am literally traveling. I had gone in march to attend a wedding and then returned two weeks later but came down with a stomach flu and all manners of difficulty which I can mention in the blog but would be giving too much away.... be that as it may.
I have taken up courses at the Islamic Online University in aqeedah, fiqh, tajweed, and Arabic. As far as personal development goes, I still have a ways to go and I know I was suppose to be blogging about that...well I am still at square one didn't budge forward for that matter
There was a time period since I got back where I was terrified due to some circumstances and had curbed my drama watching behavior but that was indeed fleeting.
The problem with my soul or character is that I am like a pingpong going from one extreme to another so to speak. If I have done a sin, I'll try to do a good deed, hoping that it will cancel out the sin and lets say mathematically you do:
-1+1=0 you are back to square zero..where I kinda remain...
so I don't really aspire to improve..
ever since I was a child I lacked in akhlaaq surprisingly even though I am my mother's biological child and my younger brother was an epitome of akhlaaq or personality(I don't want to say character here because I did have that alhamdulillaah, telling the truth, integrity, accepting of flaws, not cursing). So I started making duaa day in and day out for Allaah SWT to give me better akhlaaq. Smiling was easy for me as I lived a sheltered life and was always cheerful, optimistic, happy. However, the thing that got me messed up was my tongue and lack of patience....so now I am praying for control of my tongue and getting some patience....
because literally I don't know how to be patient...
do you?
if anyone reads this blog at all please don't be shy, send me a comment good or bad, critique or smile..just wanna know if I am sharing anything with anyone :)
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Tribute to journalism
Since it is easier to write about more aaah 'attractive' topics, i will be copying the link to AlJazeera's movie on targeting journalism. I marvel at those brave souls because it is just as worthy a battle or fight to get the truth out and share it with the world:
http://aje.me/W7NhXO
Warning: graphic images will be seen in this film on journalism, I wish I had not seen it at all. The most painful was the cruel shooting 2007 in Iraq by American LYING pilots who shot journalists and cameramen and drivers on site in Iraq in execution style( How incredibly sick no wonder there is a rise in mental illnesses and PTSD among the soldiers, why wouldnt there be? would God let them live peacefully after how they lie, cheat, abuse,and treat people inhumanely). The chilling image of war released courtesy of wikileak.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNfxlAnGUZg&feature=share&list=PL2C36FD484C8C93B1
The above link was another one. why am I still watching this gruesome stuff, does not do much for personal development does it? Subhanallaah(Glory to God Almighty)
A worthy book on this endeavor
Drumroll... Sins and their punishment by ibnul qayyim al jawziyyah....
whose lifespan(?perhaps) 691 after hijra to 751 after hjra
I thought to enhance this blog experience by sharing my thoughts and analysis on reading material pertainng to the topic and ever since I have left facebook teary face.... I need a medium to express myself, voice my concern albiet to complete strangers this time. Facebook was indeed playing into my character defects(addiction sigh...) and friendship is in no need of facebook or dependent on facebook for that matter. friendship remains in the heart and is measured by how much we thnk of our friend and pray for them rather than how many times we have liked their status updates, etc.
I do miss the news analysis though...
more to follow on the actual topic....
whose lifespan(?perhaps) 691 after hijra to 751 after hjra
I thought to enhance this blog experience by sharing my thoughts and analysis on reading material pertainng to the topic and ever since I have left facebook teary face.... I need a medium to express myself, voice my concern albiet to complete strangers this time. Facebook was indeed playing into my character defects(addiction sigh...) and friendship is in no need of facebook or dependent on facebook for that matter. friendship remains in the heart and is measured by how much we thnk of our friend and pray for them rather than how many times we have liked their status updates, etc.
I do miss the news analysis though...
more to follow on the actual topic....
The beginning, the middle, or the end?
so is my return to the blogosphere....
realizing that I needed a little more prompting for personal development which I had been ignoring for quite a while in my life. You see, my personality type as they call it was/is goal oriented, i.e career oriented and I seldom had time or insight to do personal or character development. I focused too much and too long on studying and accomplishing small( finishing this and that course, this and that school) and long term goals(pleasing my parents and making them proud of me, etc). This left me almost almost empty inside or oblivious to what was really important.
Over the years going through life and alhamdulillaah(thank God) have been able to take a life changing course on purification of the soul(much needed) which provided a mirror into my soul.
I had always thought of myself as a pure soul with no rancor, ill regards towards anyone. With no jealousy, hatred, arrogance.... and for the most part this was true. However, I did not realize that often times others did not see me as such( I know it is not important how others see you or dont see you it is how Allaah SWT judges(God Almighty but it is a reflection of whether that pure nature is being tainted or being translated correctly and hence you know for sure if that is who you are). Different troubles in my personal life would force me on a ledge getting jealous of random stranger's happiness which I would have to put into check because that was not my nature from childhood(or so I wished). Arrogance is a disease that is indeed so secretive that the person him/herself does not realize it until it is broken by the Will of Allaah SWT. It is more work to hate someone than to be indifferent or even forgiving towards them(thankfully I do not think I was ever affected by this disease and I certainly hope I do not get affected by it).
Realizing my shortcomings has been a journey for me and constantly bought books/cd, listened to lectures on diseases of the hearts and their cures.....and then when all was done and said... I realized I had other battles to conquer....control of the tongue. They say that your tongue is the key to your soul yet for some people it is not at true reflection of their soul but more of their emotions or their stupidity or their nafs(ego following self). For this reason to control my tongue was the most important battle as the hadeeth(or saying of my beloved Prophet Muhamamd SAW) goes: Nothing causes a person to fall on his face into hellfire more than the harvest of the tongue.
And so I started this blog to check on myself as a timeline to get rid of one character flaw/sin after another..whoever said character development was easy....now will be my real schooling...
realizing that I needed a little more prompting for personal development which I had been ignoring for quite a while in my life. You see, my personality type as they call it was/is goal oriented, i.e career oriented and I seldom had time or insight to do personal or character development. I focused too much and too long on studying and accomplishing small( finishing this and that course, this and that school) and long term goals(pleasing my parents and making them proud of me, etc). This left me almost almost empty inside or oblivious to what was really important.
Over the years going through life and alhamdulillaah(thank God) have been able to take a life changing course on purification of the soul(much needed) which provided a mirror into my soul.
I had always thought of myself as a pure soul with no rancor, ill regards towards anyone. With no jealousy, hatred, arrogance.... and for the most part this was true. However, I did not realize that often times others did not see me as such( I know it is not important how others see you or dont see you it is how Allaah SWT judges(God Almighty but it is a reflection of whether that pure nature is being tainted or being translated correctly and hence you know for sure if that is who you are). Different troubles in my personal life would force me on a ledge getting jealous of random stranger's happiness which I would have to put into check because that was not my nature from childhood(or so I wished). Arrogance is a disease that is indeed so secretive that the person him/herself does not realize it until it is broken by the Will of Allaah SWT. It is more work to hate someone than to be indifferent or even forgiving towards them(thankfully I do not think I was ever affected by this disease and I certainly hope I do not get affected by it).
Realizing my shortcomings has been a journey for me and constantly bought books/cd, listened to lectures on diseases of the hearts and their cures.....and then when all was done and said... I realized I had other battles to conquer....control of the tongue. They say that your tongue is the key to your soul yet for some people it is not at true reflection of their soul but more of their emotions or their stupidity or their nafs(ego following self). For this reason to control my tongue was the most important battle as the hadeeth(or saying of my beloved Prophet Muhamamd SAW) goes: Nothing causes a person to fall on his face into hellfire more than the harvest of the tongue.
And so I started this blog to check on myself as a timeline to get rid of one character flaw/sin after another..whoever said character development was easy....now will be my real schooling...
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